Frank’s voice dropped a bit. “When the weather was bad he would drive me to school. He had this old truck that he used in his fishing business. That truck was older than he was. It would wheeze and rattle down the road. You could hear it coming f blocks. As he would drive toward the school,I would shrink down into the seat hoping to disappear. Half the time, he would slam to a stop and the old truck would belch a cloud of smoke. He would pull right up in front, and it seemed like everybody would be standing around and watching.archld gold, Then he would lean over and give me a big kiss on the cheek and tell me to be a good boy. It was so embarrassing f me. Here, I was 12 years old, and my Dad would lean over and kiss me goodbye!” He paused and then went on, "I remember the day I decided I was too old f a goodbye kiss. When we got to the school and came to a stop, he had his usual big smile. He started to lean toward me, but I put my hand up and said, ‘No, Dad.’
It was the first time I had ever talked to him that way, and he had this surprised look on his face.
I said, ‘Dad, I’m too old f a goodbye kiss. I’m too old f any kind of kiss.’ .
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My Dad looked at me f the longest time, and his eyes started to tear up. I had never seen him cry. He turned and looked out the windshield. ‘You’re right,’ he said. ‘You are a big boy…a man. I won’t kiss you anyme.’" Frank got a funny look on his face, and the tears began to well up in his eyes, as he spoke. “It wasn’t long after that when my Dad went to sea and never came back. It was a day when most of the fleet stayed in, but not Dad. He had a big family to feed. They found his boat adrift with its nets half in and half out. He must have gotten into a gale and was trying to save the nets and the floats.”
I looked at Frank and saw that tears were running down his cheeks. Frank spoke again. “Guys, you don’t know what I would give to have my Dad give me just one me kiss on the cheek…to feel his rough old face…to smell the ocean on him…to feel his arm around my neck.
archld money, I wish I had been a man then. If I had been a man, I would never have told my Dad I was too old f a goodbye kiss.”
Thus we see the contract in a legal civic marriage in China is not between the woman and the man. The contract is between the womanand the family of her husband. She is not married to him, but into his family. In the visiting card of a Chinese lady in China, she does not write, f instance, Mrs. Ku Hung-ming, but literally “Miss Feng, gone to the home of the family (iginally from) Tsin An adjusts her dress.” The contract of marriage in China being between the woman and the family of her husband, the husband and wife can neither of them repudiate the contract without the consent of the husband’s family. This I want to point out here, is the fundamental difference between a marriage in China and a marriage in Europe and America. .
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The marriage in Europe and America, is what we Chinese would call a sweet-heart marriage, a marriage, bound solely by love between the individual man and the individual woman. But in China the marriage is, as I have said, a civic marriage, a contract not between the woman and the man, but between the woman and the family of her husband, in which she has obligations not only to him, aoc power leveling,
but also to his family, and through the family, to society, to the social civic der; in fact, to the State. Finally let me point out here that it is this civic conception of marriage which gives solidarity and stability to the family, to the social civic der, to the State in China.
A Goodbye Kiss